HAUTE MOMMY HOW-TO: AIR TRAVEL WITH YOUR INFANT AND TODDLER

air travel-infant-toddler

This post may be a little late for those of you who traveled during the holiday season, but I could only write it after I had traveled myself. You see, I flew out-of-town to see my parents and siblings for Christmas, forcing my husband and I to do that scary thing that all parents of little ones dread: the inevitable Air Travel With Your Infant And Toddler…dun dun dun!

We’d already flown internationally with Pumpkin when she was a year old, and across the country with her before she could say airline peanuts. But this time around, things would be a little different. For starters, we would be flying with two kids this time.

Okay, things would be a lot different.

And it was the holiday season.

And it would be Pumpkin’s first time flying in her own seat.

And it would be Peanut’s first time flying–period.

If you are about to find yourself in a similar situation in the near future, read on:

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SHE AIN’T SLOW, SHE’S MY (TALL) DAUGHTER

Back in the day when yours truly was just getting comfortable in my own skin circa the mid-90s, I realized something which would soon exasperate me to no end, but which I found pretty cool at the time: I was taller than every other girl in my class and as tall or taller than some of the boys.

I thought it would keep boys from picking on me, but instead some of them (the runts) were intimidated by me. All the girls secretly envied me, telling me wistfully that I could be a runway model, given my height and (stick) figure.


WHAT THEY DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT WAS THE TEARFUL FRUSTRATION OF A TEENAGE GIRL WHO WANTED TO LOOK CUTE IN CLOTHES THAT WERE ALWAYS TOO SHORT EVERYWHERE—SLEEVES, LEGS—OR HUNG LIKE A TENT WHEN GOING UP A SIZE.


What they didn’t know about was the tearful frustration of a teenage girl who wanted to look cute in clothes that were always too short everywhere—sleeves, legs—or hung like a tent when going up a size. It was incorrectly assumed that I must be an expert at basketball and volleyball, but when the cat was out of the bag, I would hang my head in shame.

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NO KIDS? (I MIGHT BE BIASED AGAINST YOU)

no kids i might be biased against youIn the past, I would befriend just about anyone who I had something in common with, could share a laugh or two, or just because they were friendly. Nowadays, things are very different. Whenever I meet someone new, my first question isn’t Do you have kids? it’s How many kids do you have? All the other friendship qualities seem to take a backseat.

Clearly there’s a reason for all this: Parents just Get It. With other mommy and daddy friends, we don’t need to endure the shock of guests who visit our toy-strewn home. We don’t need to tolerate an annoyed eyeroll when we say we can’t meet at a certain time because it will interfere with the baby’s next feeding.

Whenever I spy a Childless Couple (CC) across a parking lot, walking at their own pace, carefree, hand-in-hand, I, The Bag Lady, look down at my many bags (diaper, snack, purse) and juggle them while lifting my toddler out of her carseat, trying to hear what my husband is saying over the sound of traffic, and think: We used to be you. But not anymore. Now it’s impossible for me to imagine being friends with a CC. It’s like we’re two different species.

Here we go!

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