🍷 mommy musings

the two faces of moms

the two faces of moms

Is it just me or does it seem like kids listen and obey something you ask of them only when you turn into a snarling beast?

I want to be a fun mom. Not only a fun mom, of course, since discipline also has a place in responsible child-rearing. But I wish I could be pleasant with them most of the time.

There’s already so many things in life to worry about, get frustrated about, and to be angry about.

I wish time spent with my kids could be always be a stress-reliever. We definitely have our moments of silliness, of giggles, and of hugs. At those times, I feel lucky to be a mom—their mom.

But so many other times, amidst rising blood pressure, soaring impatience, and a river of tears, Fun Mom makes her escape and Angry Mom takes over.

She yells, pleads, fumes, and breathes fire. She is done being nice, and needs things done RIGHT. NOW.

And you know what?

They listen. They finally get it.

Angry Mom has to reach her limit sometimes before any action is taken by the kids.

Toys are hastily returned to their boxes, the last bits of food are scraped from plates, little feet scramble quickly down from dangerous heights, all while Angry Mom heaves and tries to catch her breath.

Then, when the little ones are finally down for their nap, Angry Mom slinks away, to be replaced once again by Fun Mom. She looks around, feeling exhausted and regretful.

She thinks of the kids and how she would like to read them a story.

But they are already in their beds, fast asleep.


How do you keep your temper when your kids cross the line?



This article has also appeared in BuzzingBubs. To read it, click here.

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12 thoughts on “the two faces of moms

  1. Pingback: what happened the day I stopped being my daughters’ referee | The Haute Mommy Handbook

  2. Pingback: Yelling at kids - The two faces of mom

  3. It’s so hard, isn’t it? There is no such thing as a “hurry” button on children. There should be though! I’ve found what works best for me is to plan extra time for everything. If I know we need to leave at 1:00 and it will take an hour to get ready, I start getting ready at 11:30. I build in time so that when they don’t respond to my requests I have time to walk over, get on their level, look in their eyes and remind them that I’ve just asked them to do something. Sometimes, if they are being really defiant, I physically help them to do it too. My goal is to ask once. If I ask five times, I have just taught them they can afford to wait until I’ve asked five times. It takes some time, but eventually they catch on and generally all respond without me having to walk over and remind them anymore. And I don’t have to lose my temper anymore which is a good thing for all of us!

    • Asking once…surely something I need to work on! But you make a really good point about making your words so valuable that you only need to say them once for them to listen. And of course, getting ready to go out always takes so much longer than we might expect. Factoring that in is a smart move 🙂

  4. Who am I to advise anyone? But I suspect our lines are crossed sooner and we need to bark sooner. The weird thing is, we don’t always get angry at the morally bad stuff. We get angry because they think it’s really funny to roll around when we’re trying to change their nappy – or something like that. And it was funny in the morning but it ain’t funny last thing at night. So they have to learn that. Caring is tiring and they need to know that. Katie

    • I’m really bad about disciplining my kids sooner than I actually do. Some stuff is cute so I don’t say anything, but yeah, it’s the same stuff that I can’t stand later on.

      I don’t stop other things, because for some reason I trust that they will “get it” and just stop, and of course they never do—until I “bark”. Caring is tiring, amen!

  5. Been there done that. It’s amazing how a child that claims to not hear you but as soon as you turn into the “beast” they are quick to respond. My son gets so upset with me when I get mad so this is what I’m trying lately…when I lose my patience and yell due to lack of response and he gets upset I tell him that he has taught me to yell because that gets me results. If he wants a different result he needs to teach me what will work. See what I did there? 😉

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